So, as the story goes, I got married. It was a beautiful ceremony. For those of you that missed it, you can check out the pictures at www.facebook.com/ippidon . When I decided to take my relationship to the next level, I knew some changes had to be made. At that time I couldn't say exactly what those changes would be, but I knew my frequent visits to the club would more that likely have to stop. See, before October of 2008, when I made Salt Lake City Utah my home, I was a resident of the great city of Atlanta Georgia, "ATL shorty" you know how they say it. The majority of my time in Atlanta was spent doing what Young Black Singles do, but this isn't Atlanta and I'm not single. So I noticed my self trying to find a perfect balance between the man I was and the man I would have to become to make this marriage work. But I'm new to the married life, how do I know what's acceptable and what's not. I mean, I know some of the very obvious things that wouldn't fly, like clubbing every weekend, and random lady friends calling my phone, but what about the other things. When I say the other things, I'm talking about the things that make us who we are. The way we dress, the way we wear our hair, how we laugh, you know stuff like that. So what do you say when your wife or husband says " That's what your wearing"? Well when I was asked that question, my answer was "Yea, if you don't like it, you can stay at home and I'll go see this movie alone". I felt really manly about the answer I gave, but after thinking about it and receiving the silent treatment for the duration of the movie, I realized that maybe that was not such a good answer after all. The idea of marriage is two people joining together to make one unit, but human nature and society tells us to "Be your self and don't change". So after all those years of being me and doing me, now all of a sudden I have to do us and be us. Can you see how this gets complicated?
Have you ever heard the saying " There is no progress with out change" , well, the same rules apply to marriage. If I intended to be the same man I was five years ago, then I probably should have stayed single. The changes that I have made over the past year did not compromise the man I was, there actually helping me become the man I want to be. Young, Black, and Married....
I must say that I was very surprised to come home and find out that my husband created a blog about marriage. Don't get me wrong we are happily married but how many "Young Black Men" really express it to the world? We have grown a lot and built a strong foundation that no one can come between or cause complications. Being married is not always peaches and cream but when you get married you must know that it is something that needs to be watered daily so don't go before God unless you are true to this.
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